Even the strongest man in the world has hurt over one circumstance or the other.
We have all experienced disappointments, letdowns and heartbreaks at different points in our lives. They are awful experiences. And as for me, I’m willing to do anything to get rid of all my setbacks and carry on with my life.
But how do I heal if I don’t hurt? It is not possible. One must surely come before the other.
Throughout my times of hurt, I have always tried to find an easy way out. I’ve resorted to travel, friends, food, sleep and other temporary pleasures to escape the harsh reality that my hurt brings me. I never want to cry myself to sleep, I never want to bask in misery’s deep abyss. I always want to get over everything very quickly and just move on with my life.
But as satiating as that sounds – healing, however, does not work that way. It’s a procedure that takes time. You simply cannot expect to heal without going through all the stages of hurt.
So, go ahead and hurt. Cry out all the pain, scream at the wall; even break glass plates if you have to. Be sad, hibernate in your bedroom, be miserable, let it all out. Whatever has brought you pain, feel that pain on every end. Allow yourself to hurt. It truly helps.
I always try to suppress my feelings by pretending like I don’t care anymore. I convince myself that I am okay. And just when I think I’m healed and ready to move forward – sadness strikes again and I’m back to square one. This happens because I never allow myself to hurt. I constantly try to reach the finish line without even running.
To heal, you must go through the full process of hurting. It’s just like a little kid obtaining a bruise on his knee. He grunts upon impact. He cries as he bleeds. He sobs on the way to the hospital. He cries some more during treatment. And then he aches for a few more days. He has allowed himself to undergo the process of hurting; so now it’s time to for him to heal. Just as the wound gets better, so does his whole being. He no longer cries, neither does he cringe to the recollection of his injury. He is now beyond that – and has emerged stronger and better than before.
When you are badly hurt, do not lie to yourself and say “Oh, I’m fine!”. Darling, you are not fine. You are a human being and you have emotions. Your heart is broken. You are disappointed. You are upset. So, embrace all that hurt until it doesn’t hurt anymore. I urge you to feel every ounce of pain. Feel every regret. Embrace all the guilt. Cry in silence because it releases even more pain. Where does it hurt? Touch your chest and feel it pound. Feel the discomfort of that midnight cry. Feel the headache and dizziness. Feel your heart twinge; feel your joy collapse. Release all of your anger, sadness and regret thoroughly. Cry until your eyes are bloodshot and sore. I promise you, if you do this, you will probably never have to do it again.
You build up internal anger and misery if you’re hurt and forcefully suppress your feelings. Whether you’re “strong” or not – allow yourself to hurt. At least to the slightest extent. The moment you complete the process of hurting – and you are sure that you have let all the pain out, you will become mentally equipped to move on with your life and face new challenges.
So where are you? Are you suppressing all your hurt or are have you thoroughly embraced them?
If your answer is the latter, then please read on.
Now after hurting, it’s time to heal. Like I said in the beginning, I try to rush into the healing process by resorting to worldly and temporary pleasures. Your pain could be alleviated if you follow this route – but it won’t be long before you backslide into misery.
But one thing I need you to take away from this article is this – Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, can heal any man the way God can. Forget about money, sex, friends, and other delights. Only God can truly mend a wrecked soul. Only God can give you pure and renewed joy. Only God can restore all that you have lost. And only God can turn your tears into unending laughter.
As I mark yet another birthday today, I have chosen to place my heart in God’s precious hands. After ages of seeking joy from other things, I have concluded that only God can fill in the gap that man cannot. So, if you are expecting a full recovery from anything, I urge you to go to God. He says in Matthew 11:28: “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy hearted, and I will give you rest.”
I’m not fully healed yet – heck I don’t even know if I’m done hurting. But I am writing this today because I know someone is pained over something and may need help and comfort. My advice to you is, let yourself hurt now and then let God heal you later. It’s as simple as that. Depending on the degree of your hurt; the process will generally not be easy. But whether you’re grieving a loss, wallowing in regret or dealing with a disappointment – remember that God is your ultimate shoulder to lean on. Find rest in Him and be amazed at how your life takes a turn for the better.
Psalm 147:3 that “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”