Before You Assume – Ask!

Have you ever looked at someone and thought, “what on earth is wrong with this person???”

Perhaps they have a very nasty attitude, talk to other people impolitely, or are just downright rude and unpleasant. I have personally come across many people like that throughout life – people who exude anger, irritability and negative vibes all the time.

The first thought that often comes to my mind is that he/she simply has a bad attitude and should be avoided at all costs.

But is that a type of assumption that Jesus Christ would ever make?

The answer is no.

As human beings, we are very fond of jumping into conclusions when it comes to judging other people’s behaviors. We are quick to think a person is naturally hot-tempered, always rude, always this and always that. But have we ever sat down to think of the underlying factors behind somebody’s attitude? Have we ever thought of the true reasons why a person is the way they are?

You may conclude that someone has been rude and impolite from the very first day you met them. But have you ever stopped to think about the primary reason behind his/her character?

Nobody is ever born with a bad attitude. Instead, we are molded into behaving in certain ways during different times of our lives. Various circumstances shape people into becoming what they are today. I have undergone this kind of transformation first-hand.

Some people experience tragic losses that bring out their negative side. Some people experience physical abuse that brings out their violent side. Some people develop bad attitudes and traits through harsh life experiences, through their upbringing, or through the inner battles and challenges that they may be fighting silently.

You just never know.

Like I said, nobody immediately possesses a negative quality straight from birth. Life is what molds us and shapes us. Life is what makes us who we currently are. Life is what makes us develop both good and bad attitudes. Life is the reason why we have our personalities, our faults, our strengths and our weaknesses.

So, before you jump into conclusions and despise someone for their actions – take a step back and ask why he or she is behaving that way. Inquire to know how their day has been. Try to know more about the person’s background. Ask questions if you have to – because there is always a reason behind everyone’s action.

I remember hating someone in the past because she was blatantly rude and nasty towards me. In fact, her presence alone was capable of totally ruining anyone’s mood. But one day, God told me to figure out why she behaved the way she did. I observed her for a while and asked around – and eventually, I found out that she was having serious troubles at home. Her parents were divorced, and she suffered verbal and physical abuse on top of that. It finally made sense to me why that girl was so violent and hurt. Her personal battles reflected her attitude towards everyone. As outsiders, it is natural for us to think “that’s just the way she is.” But that, my friend, is always very far from the truth.

The things that people go through in life have the tendency of turning them into monsters. So, before you tag anyone as ‘nasty’, ‘angry’, ‘rude’ or ‘violent’, try and remember that there may be something attributing to his/her behavior.

Show them love instead of judging them. Be kind. Be open-minded. Be willing to listen. And most importantly, be willing to understand that he/she might be going through a very very rough patch in life.

Everybody is fighting their own battle; a battle that can possibly unfold a negative and unappealing side to them.

So always keep that in mind, go out today, and have a heart.


Do not judge, or you too will be judged.

For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you
Matthew 7:1-2.
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